


Letters

by Minoukatze



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Correspondence, F/M, Fluff, Letters, Love Letters, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-07 12:30:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16854007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Minoukatze/pseuds/Minoukatze
Summary: A K-meme prompt I filled a million years ago, and one of my favorite things that I have written:) Oh Teagan, what did Inquisition do to you???A special relationship develops between Grey Warden Kallian Tabris and Bann Teagan Guerrin, documented by their correspondence.





	1. Chapter 1

To The Honourable Teagan Guerrin, Bann of Rainesfere,  
  
I hope that I am writing this properly, as I have little experience in official correspondence. As you had requested, here is the report on our progress in finding the Urn of Sacred Ashes.   
  
What we have discovered is...disturbing to say the least. A man claiming to be Brother Genetivi's assistant proved to be a murderous imposter. We discovered his true assistant's body in a back room, along with several books on Dragon cults. This makes me extremely uneasy, and I fear for Genetivi's safety. His notes lead him to a small town in the West called Haven at the base of the Frostback Mountains. Tomorrow we set off in that direction, and hopefully be able to .   
  
I must admit that at least two of our party leave with heavy hearts. Alistair had been hoping to reconnect with his newly discovered half-sister, only to find her less than accepting. I fear that I was a bit harsh in my response to him due to my own despair, and I do feel a bit bad about that.  
  
In our conversations back at Redcliffe, you expressed an interest in my culture. If you spoke truly, I must be completely honest. The Alienage was been blockaded due to "unrest." The guards refused to elaborate further, preferring to call me "knife-ear" and threaten me with violence if I continued to bother them. I fear for my father, my cousin, my friends. I feel so helpless- trying to save the world, but unable to save my own home. It is difficult to keep my mind completely on the mission with such worries weighing upon me.  
  
I realize that this is unpleasant. If you do not wish to hear more of my personal life, I will not be offended and will write only of our mission. I hope that Redcliffe is rebuilding and recovering as swiftly as possible. I wish you the best.  
  
Sincerely,  
Kallian Tabris  
Grey Warden

 

To the Esteemed Grey Warden Kallian Tabris,  
  
I know that your route to Haven will take you past the Circle Tower, so I dearly hope that this letter finds you.   
  
Of course I spoke truly when I told you I wished to know more about you. Please do not feel that you need to hold anything back in our correspondence. Indeed, I hope that I may serve as a sympathetic ear whenever you need one. I am very sorry to hear of your misfortunes. I understand that the human population of Denerim (or anywhere in Ferelden, for that matter) does not make life easy for the elves. I would (and do) pledge my support for the elves in the Alienage, but it seems that the Arling of Redcliffe no longer holds the same influence it once did. Perhaps if Eamon is cured we can do something about that.  
  
I understand your feeling of helplessness. It is taking everything I have not to go rushing off to Haven to aid you and your companions in the quest. The reconstruction of Redcliffe is already nearly complete, leaving me with governing, governing, and more governing. Meanwhile, civil war approaches, my brother lays dying upstairs, and his fool of a wife continues to simper about the prospect of losing Connor to the Circle. Honestly, I had never any quarrel with Isolde before, but her foolishness has not only brought my brother to the threshold of death but nearly condemned Redcliffe and her people to certain doom. My patience with her grows thin. I have no one to confide in about this, as a unified front is necessary in these uncertain times. The landowners come with their demands, the farmers come with their complaints, and I am left each night feeling more isolated and lonely than the last. Truth be told, the last time I engaged in an enjoyable conversation was when you were here.   
  
But I ramble. Redcliffe stands and her people live thanks to your heroic efforts, and thus I should keep my complaints to a minimum. I pray for your success, your quick return, and, most of all, your safety.  
  
Regards,  
Teagan Guerrin  
Bann of Rainesfere

 

Dear Teagan,  
  
I know that you insisted that I use this familiar greeting, but it still feels a bit odd writing it. Please let me know if you change your mind.  
  
I wish we could have rested longer at Redcliffe Castle, but Arl Eamon was correct in insisting that we continue our mission in gaining the support of the Dalish and the Dwarves. I must admit that I did enjoy the brief respite from constant battle, especially the conversation at dinner. I am very interested in hearing more of your exploits in the Bannorn. I also, selfishly I admit, wish that Arl Eamon had agreed to your request to join us. It is for the best, though, as we meet strife at every turn.   
  
We have reached a Dalish village in the Brecilian forest, places unknown, thank you very much. As a matter of fact, this letter has been proofread to assure that I am not revealing the location. Did you like the delivery? Doves! They really work (at least I hope so)! I thought that was just a rumor. The Dalish are a fascinating people, connected with nature in a way that I could never hope to understand. They are also fiercely protective of their secrets, which is why I will leave it at that.  
  
There is a scourge here which needs to be addressed before we can gain the allegiance of the Dalish. Nothing is ever simple, is it, Teagan? I like my companions, but their squabbles, their issues are all starting to wear upon me. I feel less like a warrior and more like a den mother. I wish I could lean on them the way they do upon me sometimes.   
  
Bah! Listen to me whine. I hope that things are moving steadily back at Redcliffe, and that Arl Eamon continues to convalesce quickly. I would like to visit on the way to Orzammar, but it seems that we will be heading north to Denerim once again to tie up a few loose ends. This irks me more than I care to admit. At any rate, if all goes well we will be leaving the hospitality of the Dalish in a few days, so please direct all further correspondence to the Chantry in Denerim. I look forward to your letters, Teagan. In my head, I imagine that it is your voice reciting them to me. Silly, isn't it? They are a great lift to my spirits. I wish you and yours all the best.  
  
Sincerely,   
Kallian

 

Dear Kallian,  
  
I pray that this letter finds you well and happy. Eamon received the notice of your success with the Dalish, and we are overjoyed. I did not think it possible to gain their trust considering the history between our peoples, but I should have known better than to doubt you. If you could find the legendary Urn, surely rallying the notoriously shy and justifiably hostile Dalish would be well-within your grasp. You are a worker of miracles, Kallian. With you on our side, I know that we will prevail.   
  
How are you finding Denerim now? I have written several letters to the Arl regarding the situation in the Alienage, but they have gone unanswered. I keep requesting that Eamon allow me to investigate the matter personally, but he is not completely healed and insists upon my presence here. I am sorry that I have been less than effective in my efforts, but I will persist in trying to use what little influence I have to help.  
  
I cannot wait to hear your stories of the Dalish. Since I was a boy, I have been fascinated with their nomadic culture. That you have been able to live among them and see their ways firsthand is a rare honor. I also wish that Eamon had acceded to my request to join you, though I now realize that you would probably have little use for these creaky bones. A few training sessions in the castle courtyard have driven home the depressing reality that I am not the man I was twenty years ago. I am not completely feeble, and I do believe that I have it in me to take down my share of darkspawn, but I fear that my skills would pale in comparison to those of Alistair or the Qunari. Thus I must content myself with living vicariously through your adventures.  
  
I am sorry to hear that you are the one to bear the burden of keeping the peace in your group. I realize that it is cold comfort, but I am available (in spirit, at least) to listen to you when you need to vent your frustrations or express any sorrows you may have. If it were up to me, we would have thrown you a banquet and allowed you to rest for at least a week. I also would have made sure that we would have had time to catch up without distractions, just the pair of us, though that may be more for my benefit. At any rate, I wish that I could give you the time to pause and catch your breath.   
  
Speaking of your companions, why not tell me more about them? I remember Alistair from when he was a boy. He always seemed good-natured, if a bit wild. He has certainly grown into an impressive young man. I suppose that as the last two Grey Wardens in Ferelden, you two must have become very close. I hear tell of a fellow elf joining your party. Please tell me that the rumors are false, and that you did not meet him during an attempted assassination attempt! I cannot bear the thought of your prevailing over an army of darkspawn only to perish of a dagger in the back.  
  
It brings me great joy that you look forward to my letters. I must admit that I look for the messenger with an anticipation that is almost unseemly. I smiled at the thought of your hearing my letters in my voice. I do try to impart these missive with as much of my presence as I possibly can. When you read this, try to imagine me standing by you, for I am doing the same. If you need to lean on someone, lean on me. I am here for you, Kallian.   
  
Deepest regards,  
Teagan


	2. Chapter 2

Dear Teagan,  
  
It has been an excellent day, at least as far as it can be here. As it turns out, some interesting-looking scrolls we recovered from the ruins of Andraste's Temple may be from the time of Andraste, if not written by Maferath himself. How exciting! I cannot claim to be particularly religious, but even I can understand the importance of those scrolls. Also, seeing the joy upon Leliana's face when we discovered the value of our find was worth far more than the monetary reward we received (she is a devout follower of Andraste, you know). That news and receiving your letter have made the Chantry a very happy place for me today.   
  
I cannot tell you how pleased I was to find your letter awaiting me at the Chantry. My companions couldn't help but remark upon my bubbly mood. It is days like these which keep me going in the darkest places. Your words and your support mean more to me than I can express. Thank you, Teagan.   
  
I truly appreciate your effort to improve the situation in the Alienage, though I fear trying to contact the Arl will bear no fruit whatsoever. I should have warned you of that prospect. Even before, Arl Urien's attitude toward us elves was neglectful at best and outright malicious at worst. Now, with the demise of his monster of a son, it is highly unlikely that he would give the well-being of the Alienage a second thought. It is thanks to that wretch Vaughan that I was forced to flee my home and loved ones and join the Grey Wardens. But that is a tale I am not yet ready to recount.  
  
After gaining the confidence of the Guard Captain, we were able to gain a little information at least. My cousin Shianni writes she and the rest of my family are well enough, though the reasons for the Alienage blockade remain mysterious. I get the feeling that there is information that she is intentionally keeping from me, fearing that I would worry. She was always like that. Considering the little I can do for them, perhaps that is for the best. I cannot help but be overwhelmed with guilt at the thought of her and the rest of my loved ones trapped while I am free to travel all over Ferelden. Even if we are beset on all sides by enemies, and having random duels declared upon us (have you heard about that? We were able to convince Ser Landry of his folly, but still!)  
  
We are staying at the Gnawed Noble, and I must admit that it is nice to rest my head on an actual pillow, in an actual bed. It's amazing how much little things like this matter after traveling for so long. As for my companions, I am glad to tell you all about them. Alistair has the best of characters. He is sweet and kind, but also incredibly brave. You are right- we have become very close. He is the brother I never had, a sentiment I never thought I would have regarding a human! But yes, I look upon him as family now, a sort of family cobbled together by tragedy. I believe that he will make an excellent king, if only he were a bit more confident. You mentioned our new arrival Zevran, and I must confirm that the rumors are correct. When we subdued him, he freely admitted that he had been hired by Loghain to assassinate us, but pledged his life in aiding our cause should we spare him. I realize that allowing him to accompany us is possibly one of the most foolish things I have ever done, but thus far he has proven to be an able blade and useful ally. My instincts tell me that he will be essential in helping us overcome Loghain and his forces. I know that sounds crazy, but I have to listen to my gut when it comes to this sort of thing. And don't worry, we are keeping a close eye upon him. That said, he does bring a desperately needed bit of levity to our little group. His sense of humor is infectious, and he is an incorrigible flirt (and not limiting his overtures to one gender!). It's almost worth bringing him along just to see him leaving poor Alistair blushing and flustered. Let's see...Wynne is very kind, and I am extremely grateful to have her with us, but I could do with a little less of her preachiness. On the other hand, Morrigan is ruthlessly pragmatic, though given her upbringing it would be difficult to imagine her otherwise. Of course, this leads to quite a few disagreements between her, Alistair and Wynne. However, I think (though she'd never admit it) that she is comfortable with our group and deep down she harbors a sort of affection for us. Speaking of pragmatism, Sten is a man of few words and few sentiments, but the ones he expresses are as strong as his sword arm (which is indeed very strong). It has taken quite a while, but I think I have finally gained his respect after having him question my every decision. It was hard-won, but all the more valuable for it. He does have his weaknesses, though, namely cookies, kittens, and  _Morrigan_. I'm sure they think that their frequent trips to the woods together go unnoticed. Ha! Leliana is very sweet. It is nice to have someone with whom I can chat about frivolous things like fashion and cosmetics, not that we really get a chance to enjoy either these days. I tend to forget (along with pretty much everyone else here) that I am a woman, and I so rarely feel feminine while we are traveling. Morrigan is such an exotic beauty, and Leli has this annoying talent for exuding elegance even while covered in mud. It must be an Orlesian thing. With them around, I can't imagine anyone giving me a second glance. And I think of all of the lovely noble women you must see from day to day, wearing pretty dresses and smelling like the finest perfumes and not having to worry about washing blood and brain out of their clothes. It know it's silly, but sometimes I feel ugly and ungainly. I miss being a girl.  
  
But enough navel-gazing! Did I tell you what a wonderful surprise it was to receive your letter the last time we stopped at the Circle Tower? Well, it was! I was thrilled to hear from you. We'll be setting off for Orzammar tomorrow and will be stopping at the Tower once more for supplies, so please send any further letters there for the time being. I was trying to justify a Southern route to the Dwarven city, but unfortunately it isn't possible. I dearly wish that I could meet up with you can exchange stories in person, but it seems that is not going to happen for quite some time. I deeply appreciate your friendship, and I hope that you feel that you can confide in me the way I do in you. Sometimes, when I read your letters, I rest my head against a pillow, pretending it is your shoulder. I hope that doesn't sound too weird. I hope that all goes well with you, and I wish you and yours all the best.  
  
Sincerely,  
Kallian

 

Dear Kallian,  
  
I wish that there were a better way to communicate by distance. Every passing day without a letter confirming your safety leaves me unsettled and snappish. I keep an ear out for the tiniest bit of news concerning your exploits, anything to assure me that you are alive and well. Knowing the threats you constantly face from all sides drives me into a state of anxiety. That Loghain had sent foreign assassins after you as well drives me into a rage. I cannot believe that this is the same man I held in awe when I was young. When did he begin to fester inside? When did he lose his mind? Eamon insists upon patience and discretion even after all that Loghain has put him through, and I do see the wisdom in it. It is difficult to remain idle, though.   
  
I should have known that Urien would be less than useless. These days he is little more than Loghain's puppet. I'd met his son once a few years ago and the impression he made was that of a drunk and a wastrel, I hadn't realized that he was a sadist as well. It greatly saddens me that such injustices have been going on in the Alienage for so long, and I barely knew of it. I am sorry for that. I must confess that I wondered on more than one occasion how you came to be in the Grey Wardens and have always wanted to ask, but I understand if it brings back painful memories. The last thing I ever want to do is cause you pain.  
  
Maker's breath, I've brought this letter off on a cheery note haven't I? Never mind. In the interests of making you smile, I have asked the local authority on Orzammar what a newcomer should know upon visiting the city. His response (and I apologize for the language):  
  
"Kick the first nug you see in the balls as soon as it comes up to you. That way, the rest of them will leave you alone."  
  
I debated whether or not to include that little bit of advice due to its rather indelicate nature, but, crude or not, I couldn't help but laugh. That little nugget of wisdom was courtesy of Dwyn, by the way, whom you may remember from the battle. He also mentioned that this particular part of the apparently luckless nug is quite the delicacy in Orzammar. I assume it is because they are well-tenderized. However, I would take this information with a grain of salt, as upon my departure I could distinctly hear muffled laughter and the word "sucker" bandied about.  
  
Things move along here the way they always do, which, considering the state of the rest of the country, is a blessing indeed. While Eamon makes his plans and rallies his troops for the Landsmeet, he has left me with the job of handling the usual Arling business. I tell myself that every task helps move the mission forward, but if Farmer Stilton comes charging up to me one more time howling about his cattle's gastric complaints, I may go out of my mind. Ah, Kallian, I wish that I were with you.   
  
It sounds as if your group is quite the lively bunch. It takes all kinds to save the world, does it not? I feel that I must take exception to your disparagement of your own charms. While I am certain that Leliana and Morrigan are perfectly lovely, I have to admit that while I can barely remember what they look like beyond that one is dark-haired and the other a redhead, I can recall a sweet little freckle just under your left eye, and the alluring cowlick which would persist in falling upon your forehead (not to mention your adorably annoyed expression every time you brush it away). I must confess that I watched you training the morning before you left for the Brecilian Forest. You moved with an unearthly grace, and I could not help but be enthralled. You are beautiful, Kallian, more than you could ever realize.   
  
That said, I hope that I have not overstepped my bounds with the enclosed gift. I hemmed and hawed over whether of not to get you something, and then when I decided to I hemmed and hawed over what to get. It was between these earrings and a sapphire necklace, which was lovely but I think would catch against your armor. If my gift and words are inappropriate, please let me know and I will cease such talk. I just wanted you to know that I have never forgotten that you are a woman.  
  
Please stay safe, Kallian.  
  
Yours,   
Teagan

 

Dear Teagan,  
  
I don't know what to say. No one has ever given me jewelry before in my whole life, let alone anything this beautiful. The earrings are perfect! They don't hang down, so they don't get caught on anything, but are still big enough to be seen. I am so touched, Teagan. Leliana tells me that the stones are opals, and rare ones at that. I have never even seen regular ones before! They look like rainbows trapped in stone. Thank you so much. I wish that I could find something as nice to send to you. Perhaps Orzammar will give me some ideas.  
  
As far as Dwyn's advice, I think I'm going to respectfully ignore it. Leli apparently has a fondness for the weird little creatures. By the way, when I recounted it to the party it took a good fifteen minutes for us to stop giggling. Even Morrigan cracked a smile- I think hell must be freezing over. Gods, I haven't laughed like that in ages.   
  
I suppose that we are at the point where I must address the truth I have been intentionally avoiding throughout our correspondence. Due to the vast difference in our backgrounds, I had never imagined that a human nobleman would see an elven woman as anything other than a servant or a bit of fun. I tried to explain away my growing infatuation as much as I possibly could, telling myself that your letters were just a pleasant distraction, that you were just an uncommonly kind man offering friendship and indulging in a harmless hobby. I was hoping it would pass, as I never imagined that someone like you could possibly feel for me as I do for you. I can no longer ignore the reality of things. I have developed feelings for you, Teagan, strong ones.   
  
I am very inexperienced in these matters. I don't know where to go from here, and honestly, I was less frightened facing down the demons in the Tower than I am writing this letter. I suppose I should disclose everything you need to know about my past so that you may decide once and for all if this is the path you want us to take. The day I fled the Alienage with the Grey Wardens was the day I was to be married. As you may know, elven marriages are arranged, and I had just met my fiance that morning. By that evening, he was dead, along with a good friend of mine, my cousin brutalized, and me with noble blood on my hands. Vaughan and his goons crashed the wedding, and when my cousin had the nerve to defend us, we were arrested. When she tried to prevent the guards from dragging off my cousin for their "fun", poor terrified Nora was run through like she was nothing. We were trapped in the room with her as she bled to death. I cannot erase the look in her eyes from my mind. It will haunt me for the rest of my days.   
  
My brave fiance and my other cousin came to rescue us. Through their efforts we were freed, but my fiance was cut down in front of me. He barely knew me, and yet he gave his life to save me. And then I slew the guard captain who murdered him, as well as that bastard Vaughan. Nelaros. My bethrothed's name was Nelaros. He gave his life and we had to flee, leaving his body in the manor for the guards to desecrate. Were it not for him, I have no idea where I would be now.   
  
So now you know. I have not even shared that with my companions. If you mean for what we have to be an idle flirtation, I would appreciate it if you would cease toying with me. I do not think I could bear it if you decided suddenly that I was not worth your time, or if a proper noblewoman would catch your eye. I understand if my past is too much for you, and if you would prefer to stay friends.   
  
We leave for Orzammar tomorrow. I hope that you and yours are well. I am too drained to write any further.   
  
Sincerely,  
Kallian


	3. Chapter 3

Dearest Kallian,  
  
I have never wanted to be by your side more than I do at this moment, and that is truly saying something. I believe that anything I write at this point shall fall far short of expressing how I truly feel for you, but I shall make the attempt nonetheless. I am astonished at the sorrow you have endured in your life. The distress was evident in each stroke of ink upon the page, and all I wanted to do was hold you in my arms, stroke your hair, and tell you that all would be well. I curse this Blight, I curse Loghain, and I curse the Kendells for taking so much from you.   
  
Kallian, it is my first instinct to rush to shield you from harm, but you certainly do not need my protection, do you? You have already saved my life once. During our correspondence, I was unsure about expressing my interest. We owe so much to you- my nephew's life, my brother's life, the entire town of Redcliffe. Why on earth would a hero of your stature even consider a useless relic like myself, especially when you are yourself in the company of those who are young, handsome and capable? I, too, tried to assure myself that our exchanges were innocent fun, that my inclination for you was simply admiration. I assumed that you were taking pity on the pathetic nobleman, trapped in his brother's castle by land and duty, giving him glimpses of a world beyond his grasp.   
  
If I am truly honest, it began at the Battle at Redcliffe. From time to time during the attack, I would spy you in the midst of the onslaught, blades whipping in a silver blur, your slim form arcing and whirling as if in an elaborate dance. At the end, you were drenched in blood, your hair was matted and tangled, there was a nasty bruise blooming upon your chin. When everyone was accounted for, you threw your head back and laughed. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever beheld. Not that I had time to savor it, what with the rest of the insanity persisting around us. The vision remained, though. When I had to return to the castle, it was your bravery, that triumphant laugh which helped stiffen my spine and speed my steps as I strode right into the mouth of madness.  
  
I am in love with you, Kallian. I stalk the halls of this castle wondering what you are doing, what danger you are in. I have pored over your letters, stamped each sweetly scripted word into my memory. There was a moment when you handed me a glass of wine. Your fingers brushed against mine. Maker, it was all I could do to keep from clasping you in my arms. There are times when I physically ache for your presence. Do you feel that way for me? Do you lay awake at night imagining your lips pressed to mine? It drives me mad, Kallian.  
  
I am yours, Kallian, if you want me. I pray that Orzammar is treating you well. Please respond as soon as you possibly can.  
  
With love,  
Teagan 

 

Dear Teagan,  
  
What an infuriating day! Upon arriving on the outskirts of Orzammar we find a band of Loghain's thugs awaiting us. Not even good ones. That's just insulting! We find Loghain's ambassadors quibbling with the guard, and I cannot tell you how satisfying it was for us to flash our papers allowing us entry while they were left to shiver in the snow. One tried to mouth off to us, but cowered with his tail between his legs when we called him upon it. It was a thing of beauty. Even better, a messenger showed up right after bearing your letter. I was both nervous and overjoyed at once.  
  
Unfortunately, that run of good luck was short-lived. Your letter was left, unopened, to burn a hole in my pocket for the duration of the entire day! Assuming that we would pause for a meal in one of the taverns, we enter the Commons, only to be swiftly greeted by the Captain of the Guard. I request an audience with the king, only to find that there isn't one. As you probably have heard by now, King Endrin has gone on to the great beyond, leaving his named successor and his son to squabble over the crown. Yes, we have the brilliant luck to arrive in Orzammar while it is in a state of chaos. People fight in the streets, guards, depending on their political affiliation, halt the fight or join in the fray, and I have yet to see any middle ground anywhere. We were whisked off to the Assembly, only to witness a shouting match between nobles, and were immediately set upon by both factions. We were able the extricate ourselves without committing just yet, but I can tell already that the decision will not be easy.  
  
This lasted the entire day, by the way. Gods, Teagan, how do you do it? Political protocol is so complex- it's like speaking a different language. I am terrible at this. We've been rushing about the entire day speaking with nobles, all of whom were trying to curry favor, trying to trick us into admitting a preference, a way to use our words to their advantage. It makes my head hurt. Just give me my swords and stick me in front of a monster- at least I know what to do in that situation.   
  
That said, Orzammar is impressive in a way that I have never seen. The sculptures are so much bigger than I ever imagined, and the architecture is brilliant. At the end of the day, we finally settled ourselves in at Tapster's. Despite the presence of a foul-mouthed and even more foul-smelling red-bearded dwarf, it was a pretty pleasant evening. Yet still, I was unable to read your letter! I began to take it from my pocket, only to notice Leliana and Zevran watching with a keen interest. Quickly realizing that there was no way they would allow me to read your letter in peace, I put it back into my pack. After a fine dinner of roast nug (tastes a bit like pork), I excused myself as soon as I could and retired to my room.  
  
Oh Teagan, you have no idea how relieved and overjoyed I was to read your letter, especially after agonizing about it all day. It was as if I could feel you holding me as I would absorb each word. I get so lonely at night, Teagan. I'd spent my entire life accustomed to retiring alone, and it never bothered me until recently. Suddenly it feels it feels empty, cold. Every night I lay down and read your letters, pretending that I can feel your strength, your warmth beside me. Yes, Teagan, I do imagine your kiss, your taste, your firm touch...I...I can't go on, I'm blushing too much. I want to know what you think of, what you dream of, what goes on inside your head when it rests against your pillow. Please, tell me everything, I'm dying to know.  
  
Tomorrow looks to be another long day, but at least we will retire to the same place. I will be thinking of you, my beloved.  
  
Yours,  
Kallian

 

Beloved Kallian,  
  
It is reassuring to know that the only skirmishes you are grappling with are political ones (though stay on your guard, my love, these too can turn perilous in the right circumstances). I hope that it stays a matter of negotiation rather than swordplay. I understand that these infuriating bureaucratic processes are tiresome to a woman of action, but I must confess that I am relieved that you are our of direct danger. Just keep your assassin on alert for any suspicious characters.  
  
Back on this front, I finally have a position in which I feel I am making a difference. Eamon has rounded up a small army in advance of the Landsmeet, and I am thrilled to report that Eamon has put me in charge of their training. I think he knew that I was going a bit stir crazy, and I do appreciate the gesture. Despite the warm temperatures down south here, it is exhilarating, and I am keeping up with the recruits far better than I would have expected. It is good to be of use once more.  
  
The physical exertion serves to distract me from your absence more than my administrative duties do, but it still does not completely work. You truly want to know what goes through my head at night, Kallian? Be careful what you wish for, my girl. While I am sparring with the recruits, I imagine that, at the end of the day, you are awaiting me in my chamber. I rush to you, pressing your soft body to me, drawing you into a deep kiss. Within moments I am divested of my garments, and I slowly lift the nightdress from you, savoring every inch of your exquisite form. Oh Kallian, how I long to see you! I can only imagine the glories of your sweet body. I explore you with my fevered hands, my desperate mouth until the urgency takes me and I lift you, take you swiftly to my bed, and even in my fantasies I cannot hold off. I surge into you, our bodies frantically moving as one until...oh, Kallian, I am breathless right now. Just imagining making love to you, your scent, your cries...my angel, you have such a profound effect on me. I dream of it constantly.   
  
I fear that my writing is less than gentlemanly, and if it disturbs you then I will certainly restrain myself. You  _did_  ask, though, and visions of this nature are what play through my mind as my weary and unsettled body rests in my lonely bed. I dare not continue further. But yes, when my head lay upon my pillow, it is your face I see when I close my eyes, your name drifting from my trembling lips.   
  
I need you, Kallian. Please write to me soon.  
  
Love,  
Your devoted Teagan

 

Dearest Teagan,  
  
I am tired to the bone. I suppose it was optimistic to think that it would just take a bit of political maneuvering to gain the dwarves' allegiance. It seems we have to place someone upon the throne as well. Even then, that isn't enough, we need to solve the city's woes and do so in the name of the chosen candidate. We were tasked with venturing to Dust Town to clear out the head of the criminal underworld. No big deal, just solve our city's crime problem!   
  
Before visiting Dust Town, I had assumed that it would be something like the Alienage. I was wrong. Things there are much more dire. We elves may be poor and pushed to the side, but at least we have hope, and at least we have each other. There is none of this to be found in Dust Town, where these unfortunate souls are branded from birth to a life of destitution. So much misery, Teagan. There was a young woman, barely more than a child, thrown from her "respectable" family's home until she would do the unthinkable- abandon her infant in the Deep Roads. I cannot fathom such cruelty. I gave her a decent amount of coin, and she departed for the surface where the rigid caste system holds no sway. I pray she finds success in our world. That was but one person, though. I wish I could help everyone here. It is no wonder that they turn outside of the law to survive.  
  
But we did it. After a long and difficult battle, we overcame the wily Jarvia and her cronies. Gods, she had an army at her disposal, complete with ballistas and catapults! We returned to the Diamond Quarter, exhausted, only to find that our task is not yet finished! No, tomorrow we set off for the Deep Roads to track down a Paragon. I wonder if we shall need to sweep the streets and wash all of the windows in this blasted place before we are done. All of this stale air, I wonder if it has addled their brains?  
  
Ah, I have given up trying not to be bitter. This place is wearing on me, not least of all because it keeps me from seeing you once more. I can tell it is wearing on the others as well. Alistair cracks more silly jokes, Leli sings softly to herself, and Zevran's sordid tales increase in bawdiness. Normally, I would ignore him, but now, as I am fast realizing my inexperience, I listen to the master. When we do finally reunite, Teagan, I do not want to disappoint you. What do you like? I am wondering if (oh, I cannot believe I am writing this!) you would like it if I used my mouth upon you? If, while you lay back upon your bed, I glide my tongue along the length of your member, would you enjoy it? I have never done anything like this before, and I find it intriguing. If I slide you inside of my mouth and suck gently, would you prefer that? I want to taste you. I want to feel what it is like to bring you to your crisis, feel you spilling inside my eager mouth. I hope I have not disturbed you!  
  
You mentioned that the weather is warm in Redcliffe. Does it get hot while you are training, does it get sweaty? Does it become necessary for you to remove your tunic? Oh Teagan, whenever I feel stressed or exasperated, I close my eyes and that is what I see. When I read your most recent letter, in bed, inevitably, I...I touch myself. I do it until I am shaking and crying out for you. Do you do the same? I've never done it with such a frequency before. I am relieved for a time, but I feel so lonely after. I want you with me.   
  
I hope you like the torc I am sending. The vendor told me that it is a common piece for warriors. I picture you wearing it while you are training, and it gives me a warm feeling inside. I miss you, Teagan.  
  
I must stop now if I am going to get any sleep. I am going to need my strength for tomorrow's venture. I hope all is going well for you, my love.  
  
Yours,  
Kallian

 

My gorgeous Kallian,  
  
If your aim was to make me dizzy with desire, you have thoroughly succeeded. I hope you can forgive my shaky handwriting. I was afraid that my boldness would drive you away, so I was overwhelmed to see that you share the same physical longings. It was a good thing that I waited until I retreated to my chamber before opening your note. Maker's breath, Kallian, I have needed to relieve my urges twice since I received your letter but an hour before. I need you here with me. I need to feel the warmth of your flesh against mine. Yes, my Kallian, I am desperate to relish the swirl of your clever tongue upon my aching member, your supple wet lips sliding down upon it, seeing you crouched over me, your pert little bottom rising as your lovely head dips down... Right. Three times. Oh, my wicked, devious darling! You are perfect in every way. When, this night, you lay upon your bed, your fingers busy teasing sighs from your lips, please imagine me above you, inside you, for I guarantee that I am doing the same.  
  
To answer one of your many delightful questions, yes, it is very hot during training, and yes, sometimes it is more comfortable to perform our exercises sans tunics. By the way, quite a few of the recruits have complimented me on the exquisite torc you sent! Thank you so much, my sweet girl. I wear it always.   
  
I hate that those dwarves are taking advantage of your position in such a way. I have read that the Deep Roads are very perilous. Please send me news of your safe return as soon as possible. I have faith in your abilities, but I never truly rest easy until I have heard from you.   
  
At the moment, I wish that I were awaiting your return in Orzammar. I would prepare a hot bath in your chamber, and when you arrive, weary and aching, I would ease you out of your armor and guide you to the tub. As you lay back and relax, I carefully wash the grime from your nubile form until your skin is slick and shining (oh Kallian, just the thought of it brings me standing at attention yet again!). Abandoning the cloth, I would proceed to suck gently at your throat while exploring your depths with my fingers. You asked me what I want, Kallian? I want to make you scream with delight, my love. I want to make your body sing with pleasure. When you have finished, when you are quivering and whimpering with need for me, I would plunge into you, our bodies hot and slippery against each other. I would drive you to another climax as I am swiftly consumed by my own.   
  
You describe yourself as inexperienced. My love, I will do my best to bring you as much pleasure as I possibly can. I fear that it has been a long time for me, though, and I pray that I do not disappoint you. I'd had my normal share of diversion in my youth, but in recent years I have been distracted, and quite frankly, no one had quite caught my fancy. My profound attraction to you was very much a shock. I have never wanted anyone so much in my entire life, indeed, I did not think I had this capacity for such desire within me. You drive me mad, my angel.  
  
I shall close this letter now, hoping the next one I receive will be heralding your return to me. Be well, my love.  
  
Yours for eternity,  
Teagan

 

Beloved Teagan,  
  
Gods, Teagan, seeing your letter awaiting me was like a beacon in the darkness. I feel as if I am just beginning to emerge from a nightmare. I was nowhere near prepared for what awaited us in the depths.   
  
Do you remember my mention of an unpleasant red-bearded dwarf in Tapster's? Turns out this fellow's wife abandoned him for some fool's errand in the Dead Trenches. He insisted on accompanying us. Despite his rather coarse manners (and creepy overtures toward poor Wynne), he has proven to be a formidable fighter. Fair enough. We can use all the help we can get.  
  
The Deep Roads...The further you go, the more closed in it becomes. The air is dank and musty. It is difficult to breathe. It is a place where you feel that only death awaits. In fact, there is a small battalion of dwarves known as the Legion of the Dead. Already considered deceased by their brethren, they have given over their lives to halt the spread of darkspawn to the higher levels. The further we pressed, the more the realization dawned upon me. _This gloomy place will most likely be the last thing I see._ Judging from Alistair's unusual quiet, I was not alone in thinking this. There was no respite from these morbid notions, for it only became darker and more twisted as we continued.  
  
The "Paragon" was a monster. She fed her own people to the darkspawn, making them abominations. One in particular had been warped into something called a Broodmother, a horrifying tentacled thing from which darkspawn are sprung. I shudder even now just thinking of it. Those who did survive are tainted cannibals, best put out of their misery. Yet Branka herself was lucid, if not sane. She offered us incredible power to help her realize her mad vision, control of something known as the Anvil of the Void. Meanwhile another Paragon, this one a golem, decried her actions. I'm sure you can tell where this is going.   
  
We returned with a crown forged by the golem. We were quiet the entire trip back. We solemnly handed over the crown to Prince Bhelen, and I question that decision even now. Harrowmont seemed a decent and honorable man, but he was committed to keeping the status quo. Bhelen seemed a scoundrel, but vowed to abolish the caste system. I kept seeing all of those people languishing in Dust Town, the woman whose kneecaps had been broken and allowed to fester, the abandoned girl and her infant. I had to choose the scoundrel. Bhelen immediately called for his opponent's execution.  
  
I am heartsick, Teagan. This place has drained me utterly. It was such a relief to return to my room with your letter. Reading it brought back a warmth which had been missing for days. Oh Teagan, I need to feel alive again. I want nothing more than to sink into your arms. I need you to fill me with your heat. When we are together, my love, I do not want to leave your side for a second.   
  
We depart for Redcliffe the day after tomorrow. Bhelen is forcing us to endure his coronation before finally pledging the dwarves' allegiance. Gods, I would leave this night if I could. Soon enough, though, I will be yours. I will taste your lips, feel the brush of your beard upon my chin, the weight of your strong body upon me. I am laying down, my hand between my thighs, and I am thinking of you. Soon, my love. Soon I will be coming to you.  
  
Yours,  
Kallian


	4. Chapter 4

Kallian halted suddenly as they reached the crest of the hill. Redcliffe Castle loomed in the distance.

"Onward and upward," Alistair said cheerfully. "Are you okay? We're almost there."

"I know," she replied uneasily. "It's nothing."

Leliana grinned. "Oh, how sweet! You're nervous."

"I am not!" Kallian sniffed. "Okay, perhaps a bit. Anyway, it doesn't matter. We need to keep our minds on the task at hand."

Kallian raised her chin and strode forward. Leliana and Alistair exchanged a glance and shrugged. Kallian sighed when Leliana caught up with her. 

"What if he's changed his mind?" Kallian murmured. "What if I'm different than what he remembers? What if-"

"You're being silly," Leliana reassured her. "Just imagine the look upon his face when we enter the hall. Oh!" She hugged Kallian. "This is so romantic! I think I may write a song about it."

"Ugh!" Morrigan gagged. "'Tis disgraceful. I shall have to keep a bag with me in the hall. I fear I may vomit."

Kallian's face burned. The group walked quietly for a time.

"So," Kallian asked Leliana after a time, "how do I look?"

*********

Teagan paced the chamber furiously, casting anxious glances outside of the window from time to time. He picked up the sheaf of various petitions from the local landholders and skimmed them without reading. 

"Bann Teagan! Angus Stilton is demanding your presence in the main hall." Clive, a nervous-looking page, stood awkwardly in the hallway. 

Teagan smoothed back his hair irritably. "Oh, tell him to stick it-" He regarded the shocked boy and sighed. "I'll be down in a moment."

One last time. As the page quickly departed, Teagan rushed over to the spyglass in the window. Scanning the horizon, his breath caught when he spied his quarry. There they were, just passing over the hill. His Kallian was not an hour's walk from Redcliffe Castle. He paused a moment to regard her artless gait, the shake of her lovely head as she chatted with her companions. Head buzzing, Teagan reluctantly tore himself away from the spyglass and made his way down to the Great Hall.

**********

"Are you well, Kallian?" Wynne asked quietly. "You're looking a bit green."

The group had entered the courtyard, and a great deal of hustle and bustle was surrounding their arrival. Kallian's stomach was tied in knots, and she began to drift to the back of the party. She nodded to Wynne, unable to speak. The walk up the stairs to the hall seemed to take an eternity.

As they entered the chamber, Kallian allowed Alistair to lead the way, then crept behind Wynne, then Zevran. A firm shove to her back propelled her gracelessly into the room. Kallian glared back angrily at Sten.

"Pardon me, Kadan," he rumbled.

Eamon stood in the center of the chamber, Isolde at his side, various courtiers stationed about the room. Kallian felt a stare weighing upon her, and she looked beyond Eamon's shoulder.

There he was. Kallian was flooded with a mixture of longing and panic. She simultaneously wanted to rush to him, and to flee from the room. His green eyes widened for a moment, then fell hooded, his gaze burning deeply into her. It sent a jolt of excitement throughout, and Kallian was lightheaded. Her nethers tingled and throbbed. She barely noticed Alistair giving the full report on their progress, and handing over the Treaties. Teagan's eyes held her rapt, dumbstruck. She very suddenly felt very much out of her depth.  
"Well, then," Eamon began. "We should depart as soon as possible-"

Teagan stepped forward, about to protest, but was pre-empted by Wynne.

"Please excuse me, Arl Eamon, but if I may speak," she began. "We have just been through a very trying ordeal, and I myself am drained and in desperate need of recovery. I am not as young as I once was, you know."

"Yes!" Leliana added quickly. "The Deep Roads were not very kind to our constitutions, and I believe that I am coming down with a nasty sore throat. And poor Alistair has pulled a muscle in his thigh."

"Huh?" Leliana gently punched Alistair's shoulder. "Right! My leg is killing me after that long hike."

"Very well," replied Eamon. "We leave in three days. I suppose that you should get some rest. We shall have an official banquet tomorrow to celebrate."

Thus dismissed, a servant appeared and proceeded to guide Kallian and her companions to their chambers. 

"I hope her room is sound-proofed," Morrigan grumbled under her breath.

"I hope it isn't," replied Zevran.

***

 

Kallian glanced over her shoulder to search for Teagan, but he had disappeared. Upon reaching her chamber, Kallian quickly shut the door behind her and heaved a sigh of relief. She removed her armor, slid on a nightdress, and flopped down upon the gloriously soft bed, glad to rest her aching feet. 

A sudden rap at the door made her jump. On shaky legs, Kallian made her way to the threshold. She opened the door a crack, and there was Teagan, not a foot from her. Her voice catching, she stepped back and motioned him inside. He entered, then firmly shut the door behind him.  
They stood and stared at each other for several long seconds, a wall of words unsaid between them.

"How are you feeling, Kallian?" Teagan asked, finally. "Have you recovered from your experience in the Deep Roads? You look a little pale."

"I'm better," Kallian replied, taking a cautious step forward. She trembled with nerves. "The fresh air in my lungs has worked wonders."

Teagan stepped forward as well. He was close enough that Kallian could feel the heat emanating from his sturdy form. She detected the scent of expensive soap and leather. 

"Kallian." His voice was low and husky. "You are even lovelier than I remembered."

He reached forward and trailed a finger down her cheek. She gasped. The simple gesture sent shivers down her spine and a swirl of intense warmth below.

"I am sorry." Teagan stepped back. "You spoke of your inexperience. I am being too forward-"

"No!" Kallian exclaimed. "No, it's not that, I want...I'm just..." She looked up at him, her eyes wide. "I've never even kissed anyone."

"Well," he murmured, his pale eyes smoldering. "shall we change that? We can move as slowly as you need."

He cupped her face in his strong, calloused hands and gently pressed his pressed his lips to hers. He tasted of strong coffee, and his beard tickled slightly. Kallian leaned against him, dizzy, her body fizzing like champagne. A whimper rose from her throat. Teagan drew back, a sly smile playing upon his lips. 

"How was that?" he asked, stroking her cheek with his thumb.

"More," Kallian whispered desperately, pulling him toward her with a fervency that surprised her. Her lips parted, and he kissed her forcefully this time. Kallian clung to him, dimly impressed that he could support her weight as if it were nothing, his grip like iron. She slipped her tongue against his, praying that she was not embarrassing herself. He suddenly clutched her tighter to him, deepening the embrace, and Kallian's mind went blank. She melted into him, allowing him to support her completely, abandoning herself to the rippling waves of pleasure. She arched against him, her nethers aching, needing...something, and was surprised by the hardness jutting into her hip. The sensation of it sent swirls of longing below, and, curious, she slid her hand down to caress it. Teagan groaned heavily, crushing her against him, and Kallian was desperate for more. He drew back, panting.

"I need to see you." Kallian's heart was racing, and she was sure that her linens were drenched. She ached for his touch, but first she had to take in his body.  
Teagan's eyes never left hers as he undid the clasps on his velvet jacket and removed it. He slowly lifted his linen tunic, revealing an impressively muscled chest. She followed the line of a long white scar, looking as if it were born of battle, down to a trail of curling auburn hair, a trail disappearing into his breeches. Kallian trembled, watching him. She needed more. She glided her fingertips gently along his skin, down to the soft hair.

"Maker's breath, Kallian," Teagan groaned, panting.

Kallian knelt before him, unlacing his breeches herself. She slid them down his hips, and his breath caught. His linens barely masked his member straining against the thin fabric. She traced it with her fingers, and Teagan grasped the bedpost, throwing his head back.

"Ah, Kallian..."

She tugged down his linens, freeing him. She studied his member. It was so strange. Veined, swollen, its purple bulbous head with a opalescent drop escaping the tip, Kallian wondered at how much it affected the powerful man before her. Teagan was panting, leaning against the bedpost, his expression fierce and vulnerable. Kallian licked her lips and slid him inside of her mouth.

"AHHH!" Teagan convulsed against Kallian, and the sound of his report prompted a moan of her own. His hand rested in her hair, gently pressing her forward. She savored the smooth texture of his cock, running her tongue along the soft ridges, drawing her mouth back and forth upon him. His frantic cries drove her forward, reveling in the pleasure she was giving him. She grasped his rocking hips and pumped faster, and he seemed to swell further in her mouth. There was a salty trace to the taste of him.

"K-Kallian, I-I...s-stop...I'm going to...I-I'm...ah, Maker..."

Teagan tried to move away, but Kallian was enjoying this mastery far too much. She sucked more fervently, drawing him down to the root. 

"AH! KALLIAN!" Teagan screamed. His body shook spasmodically as jets of a thick pungent fluid spurted into her waiting mouth. It seemed to last for minutes. Little aftershocks jolted through him, and Teagan collapsed upon the bed. Kallian's body hummed with excitement, and she did want more, but it had felt so good to bring him off.

Kallian crawled onto the bed beside Teagan, and he rolled over to trap her beneath him. 

"Naughty girl!" he chuckled. "I wanted to make sure you had peaked first."

"Was that good?" Kallian asked softly.

"Maker's breath, Kallian." Teagan kissed her gently. "That was incredible. What about you, though? You must be frustrated."

Teagan's hand slipped under Kallian's nightdress to rest against her damp linens. Kallian whimpered, rubbing against him.

"You are, aren't you?" Teagan drew down her smallclothes and deftly caressed her sex. "I believe I should return the favor."  
Teagan took his time skillfully massaging her, his fingers toying teasingly against the little bundle of nerves hidden in her folds. Ripples of pleasure rocked Kallian as she rubbed herself against his hand. 

Teagan lowered himself to her waist, raising her nightdress above her hips. He dipped his face slightly, pausing just before her.

"Would you like me to taste you?" Teagan's breath was hot against her sex.

"Gods, yes!" Kallian pleaded.

Teagan groaned into her as his tongue delved into her depths. Kallian let out a hoarse cry, quaking against him. She ran her fingers through his auburn hair, his stray braid resting upon her hip. Over and over, Teagan swirled his tongue around her nub, his fingers curling inside of her. Kallian coasted on wave after wave of rapture, rising with each stroke. Little mewling cries began to escape her lips, and Teagan increased his pace. It was heaven, it was too much...Kallian wailed as the climax crashed upon her, carrying her along. It took several moments for the world to return to focus around her.

"Did that please you, my love?" he asked, smiling.

"There are no words," Kallian murmured dreamily. 

She kissed him, pressing herself against him, only to find that he was stiff and ready once more.

"Wow," Kallian smiled, running her hand along his length. "That was fast!"

"That is what you do to me," he growled, burying his face in her throat, his hands exploring her body. He began grinding himself against her hip. "Andraste's breath, Kallian, I have dreamed of this for so long."

"Do you want me, Teagan?" Kallian breathed.

"Need you even ask, my love?"

"What would you like me to do?"

Teagan released her and stood up. "I...I need to see you."

Kallian rose, slowly lifting the nightdress from her. Teagan cupped her breasts, his thumbs circling her stiffened nipples.

"Oh Kallian," he sighed, "you are beautiful beyond my fantasies."

Their mouths met hungrily, and Kallian drew him back upon the bed. She felt him poised just at her slick entrance.

"Please, Teagan," she panted. "Make love to me."

"Beloved." Teagan's eyelids fluttered as he slowly slid inside of her. 

Colors exploded behind Kallian's eyes and a strange mewling sound rose from her throat. Gods, he filled her so completely.

"Maker's breath, Kallian, you're so tight," Teagan groaned.

He began to drive into her, sending sparks of rapture arcing through her body. Kallian stared into Teagan's eyes, savage in a way she hadn't thought possible of him. It incited her into a frenzy. She bucked against him, and he plunged faster, harder. Kallian felt her release imminent, and she tensed around him, her nails sinking into his sturdy back. 

"Teagan, I'm so, I'm...I'm...AHHHHH!!!!"

Kallian's head snapped back as she reached her release. Soon after, a strangled cry arose from Teagan as he gave a final, frantic thrust. His eyes rolling back, his face strained, Teagan shook against Kallian as he spilled inside of her.

They lay tangled together, nuzzling each other in a blissful haze.

"Oh, my love," Teagan murmured, stroking Kallian's hair from her sweat-beaded forehead. "What will I do without you?"

"You won't have to worry about that for long." Kallian smiled. "I will return before you know it."

"And until then?" Teagan pressed his forehead to hers. "How will I cope?"

"Don't worry." Kallian kissed his nose. "I'll write."


End file.
